I'm conditioning you
Toughen up
What ye greetin fur
Are you fucking stupid he ranted
Selfish and only think of yourself
Do you as your told
Don't open your mouth
Don't you dare talk back to me
Come on fatty
Aye dad make fun of your daughter cause it's makes you look funny to yer pals
Always the funny man
Serious when it affects you though
Very fucking Serious
Help all the neighbours and be the hero everyone loves while my mum was drowning
Shhhhhh dad's sleeping, you know how he gets.
Shhhhhh dad's watching tv, you know how he gets
Leeeeiiiigggghhhh!!! Make yer da a coffee he says. Makes coffee, thanks hen. I stand and stare at the tv. WHAT YOU STILL STANDING THERE FOR FFS GET OOT THIS ISNY FOR YOUR EYES.
Get out, stay out the way, be a good girl, help your mum. Why don't you fucking help her instead of being whipped still by yer maw a sisters.

Daddy I just want your love
Why do you want to hurt me
Why do you want to break me
Then not let me cry
Then not let me feel
Scared of my feelings
Afraid to feel your own
Always bubbling under the surface
Distract, laugh, entertain
Daddy why can't you see me
I don't want to be just your strong girl
I dont wanna be the son you didn't get
Yes I am strong
But also soft
Whimsy
Creative
Intuitive
Sensitive
Deeply caring
Loving
Compassionate
Kind
Feirce
Loyal
Adaptable

I am so much more than you ever made me feel and it has shown on my skin and my body, my heart and my mind, my successes and my failures.
I don't blame you
Life hurt you too
I have a responsibility to heal this part of me
I have a responsibility to let other little ones know they are not alone in never feeling seen, heard or loved for who they are while constantly being told how and who they should be.
I do not blame you for passing on your fear
I forgive you
I love you
Always will
But say goodbye to the me you think you know
Accept the me I'm growing into
Or leave me alone